Sunday, November 9, 2008

The end of a very nice day

Boy, tetracycline sure is potent. Today is the first day back on antibiotics after about 10 days off. The treatment break wasn't all light and joy, in fact it kind of sucked, but as it wore on the symptoms were less intense.

Today I woke and took my initial tetracycline dose, followed a half-hour later by diflucan. Such cute little pink tablets.

No effect - didn't really expect anything, but you never know. And the rest of the day was a rare treat. I almost felt normal. Plenty of energy, though I didn't really do anything, freedom from the back and neck pain, and most of all my brain was clear.

I caught myself thinking today. Actually thinking! Thinking about a camping trip in Maine or Canada in the winter (some future winter, not this one), thinking about how to solve a tricky programming problem (pre-Lyme I was a software developer). On these very rare days (the last one like this was months ago) it's a bit scary to see a glimpse of how I used to be, of what I've lost. I don't know if it's the neuro problems, or if it's this way with all chronic illness, but it has a sneaky way of settling in, such that you forget just how wonderful the world is. It's on these rare days that you realize the occasional "good" lyme day really isn't all that good. It's not just that there might still be aches and pains, or low energy. The critical spark is missing. The best analogy I can think of is walking around with 30 points shaved off my IQ. You don't always feel slower, but you almost always are.

All this ended with a bang 3 minutes after taking tonight's dose. I was in the middle of doing something that required a brain, that I'd been working on all day, very nicely. Literally within minutes I watched it drain away. I quickly typed some notes to self about where I left off, as I couldn't in any way continue what I'd been working on, and without the notes, will forget all the details.

So now, it's a couple hours later, and the jangly, spinning brain, and loudly ringing ears are the norm again, sigh. And now the body aches are coming back, too. It's fairly unbelievable how fast it came on, dragging me kicking and screaming (ok, not really) back into my confused little world.


Naomi Adams said...

Hey Joe-- Glad to see you didn't drop off the face of the earth and are posting again. I read your entry on herbs... very interesting and impressive that you digested this whole book despite brain fog.
I think it's a great idea, especially since you are deciding this course of treatment for yourself.

My favorite doctor, Carolyn, used to say the more a patient participates and makes decisions in her/his treatment, the more successful the treatment will be.